It Is What It Is.

Some days, I'm super confident.
Some days, I'm super NOT.
Every once in a great while, I think I might be "cured":

Then comes a day that reminds me that I'm most certainly not.

I'm not perfect at this, and I likely never will be...
But I'm getting around to being perfectly okay with that.
I make a lot of mistakes - but, I would bet that you do, too.
Sensors fail; boluses (bolusi?) don't match up; fingers won't bleed.
Food choices; exercise - never quite "right".
My body behaves in ways that betray me - Stop shaking so hard; pull it together; I don't care if you're low and at work and feeling helpless - you're embarrassing me.

It is what it is, and I can only do my best.
And even when what I'm doing doesn't seem my best - it really is; right then. You know?

I will take diabetes seriously, but not myself.

I will refuse to let this consume me.

Unite For A Healthy Future.

If you live in or around New York City (or, if you don't and want an excuse to travel), you should check out the Unite for a Healthy Future event happening in Central Park on September 18th. (I won't be able to attend, as my own local JDRF Walk to Cure is also that day. Sad face? I can't decide.)

Related to the "O is for Outrage" campaign I wrote about last month, this event is being organized by the International Diabetes Federation and other civil leaders to call attention to something important. Taken from the event's Facebook page:

On 19 and 20 September 2011, policy leaders from around the world will come together for the United Nations High-Level Summit on Non-Communicable Diseases (NCDs) - cancer, cardiovascular disease, chronic respiratory disease and diabetes. During this high level meeting they will focus on the global threat caused by NCDs.

 This is the only 2nd Health Summit in the history of the UN. HIV/AIDS led the way in making history changing the way policy makers and the world see this devastating disease. We now have the opportunity to be active agents of change.

To celebrate this the International Diabetes Federation and civil leaders are organizing a half-day celebration in Central Park, New-York City On 18 September, the day before the UN summit. Our goal is to raise the awareness that Non-communicable diseases are the leading killers today and are still on the rise. But together we can change this.

As of the writing of this post, "Unite for a Healthy Future" has the support of organizations such as The World Heart Federation, Framework Convention Alliance, Livestrong, Diabetes Hands Foundation, Team Type 1, Healthy Caribbean Coalition, Diabetes Daily, Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation, and Einstein Global Health Center. This is going to be a big deal!

I hope you'll consider attending, to add your voice to this powerful movement.

Blünt Lancet Sighting!

I saw a photo on Facebook yesterday that made my jaw drop. And then I giggled.

image credit: Kelly Rawlings

That would be Sam Talbot - yes, that Sam Talbot - wearing a Blünt Lancet t-shirt.

Who knew he was a fan?!

Thanks for being a good sport, Sam. This totally made my day! (And if I get to see a You Can Do This Project video from you, that will make my month! Year! Decade! Shameless guilt trip ending now!)

Awkward Moments With Diabetes.

Explaining that yes, you CAN eat that... just, um, not right now.

Your "just going away for two days" bag looks like everyone else's "I'll be out of the country for a week" bag.

A low blood sugar ensures that you are "that person" at the movies.

Technology - you haz it. 

The ability to differentiate - not so much.

Ladies who use an insulin pump with tubing: 

it just takes a little bit longer.

Gentlemen: The Murse.

When the smoking hot intern at the endocrinology office leans in close to look at your "diabetic eyes", and you smolder. Just a little.

An ill-timed pump alarm interrupts Hug Time.

"Low" and "had a lot to drink" look awfully similar.

Diabetes On My Sleeve.

I'm new to the whole "wearing diabetes on my sleeve" thing. (And when I say "diabetes", I mean "my continuous glucose monitor". And when I say "on my sleeve", I mean "on my arm".)

Aaron and I were at a friend's post-wedding soiree (they got hitched in Vegas - photos looked beautiful! - and had a reception party at their home after they returned) on Saturday night. I was actually wearing the dress in the photo to the right there, so my Dexcom sensor was fully visible on the back of my arm.

I knew very well that it was possible - likely, even - I'd get questions about "that thing on my arm", and I felt prepared and okay with that. If any medical professional out there wants to know what being involved with a community of fellow patients does for someone with diabetes, here's one thing: because I have read the experiences of others who have worn their CGMs out in the open, I felt confident in trying it myself. I didn't really feel ashamed or skittish either - in fact, I think I might have walked a little taller with that CGM sensor out in the open air.

So there I am, plate in hand and spooning up some watermelon, when I feel something nudging my Dexcom sensor. I thought it was Aaron - maybe the tape was coming loose and he was trying to fix it? Nope. It was a lady I'd never met before in my life, with her hand on my Dexcom sensor. A lady who was old enough to be my mother - and therefore, old enough to know better, I'd think.

I had been totally thrown off of my game. Questions? They are totally are welcome, and I was prepared for those. Touching? Totally a WTF moment.

"Um, hi?", I greeted her with.

Still touching the sensor, she said in a very concerned voice, "Oh, my! Is this medication?" Her arm returned to her side.

[First reaction was to say: Yep, it's a nicotine patch. I'm reeeeeally addicted, so they gave me the Super Ginormous Mega one. But, I pocketed that angry and sarcastic response in favor of something more useful. Because, sometimes, I can act like an adult.]

"Sort of. It's a glucose monitor. I have type 1 diabetes, and it helps me see what's happening."

She paused. "Does it work?"

[No, ma'am... it doesn't. I just like how it looks. Don't you think it accents my outfit nicely and brings out the color of my eyes?]

"Yep; it works really well." I tried so, so hard to not make a "Is this really happening?" face, and returned to my meal gathering.

And then she walked away.

I looked at Aaron, to see if he'd witnessed what just happened. His smile and subtle head shake told me that he had.

The moral of this story? I'm not sure. But I do know that this situation didn't bother me nearly as much as it might have before I found the diabetes online community. Primarily because, even as it was happening, I knew that I'd have a story to share with people who could laugh at it right along with me. Having a support system of fellow patients helps me feel more confident in doing what I need to do in order to be healthy, and that's a great thing.

Emo Pup.

I did the occasional clean-out of my phone's "photo gallery" (It sounds so fancy, doesn't it? Like I should be sipping wine and commenting on how well the negative space is balanced, or something.), and I found a few gems to share with you. They seem to revolve mostly around food and the dog - not so bad, I don't think.

Happy Friday!

This light fixture amazed me while I was eating lunch
one day - I may have also been wicked low, and would
have found pretty much anything to be amazing, but
I really do think it's quite neat.

This carpet... it's so... FLUFFY... zzzzzzz

Tomatoes and basil from my "garden" (read: pots on the deck), and
cheese. Because cheese makes everything better.

PANCAKE!!!

Walmart - full of good spelerz.

Billy was helping me during #dsma last week. He looks very emo
 in this photo, I feel. Thinking deep thoughts, he is.

Puppy and pump(y), both doing their jobs well.

Another Resource: This Time, Mini Size!

A quick (and very late) post today...

Last week, with Meredith's help, I made a flyer available for anyone who wants to help spread the word about the You Can Do This Project. I want to accommodate what you guys need when it comes to sharing this project with others!

Someone asked me earlier this week if I could send them some business cards (because they're far more portable and easy to carry with you), and it got me thinking that having options might be a good thing.

Consider this, um... "You Can Do This... To Go!"

You'll now find a business card sized flyer (which can be printed several to a page, if you're using a template) in .pdf form. It's quite colorful, so if you'd rather print it as a black and white version, that's totally okay too!

You'll be able to access this from the You Can Do This Project website, too, whenever you need it - under the resources tab.

Wordless Wednesday: Huzzah!

(They may not be ideal readings, but at least they MATCH.)

Dude.

I had my workout clothes on. Hair was in a ponytail, shoes were tied, and my it's-not-a-fanny-pack-darn-it belt was fastened. The sun was setting; leaving just enough light the way for our evening walk, but not so much that walking would feel torturously hot.

Aaron was addressing the Billsner; his tone a mix of cheerful and increasing simplicity: "Are you ready to go for a walk? Go for a walk? Go walk? Walk?" Billy just sat there, staring at him. "Whaaaaat?"

I started filling my kangaroo pouch: glucose tabs, lip balm, plastic bag (responsible dog owner, I am!), and instinctively reached towards the kitchen counter where my trusty Dexcom receiver usually resides. Except it wasn't there. "What? Where...", I trailed off. I wondered where on earth I could have left it, as I knew I last had it when I...

...oh, crap. The last time I remembered holding it was outside. When I had taken Billy out in the backyard. Which was a couple of hours ago. In the sweltering heat.

Noooooo...

I recalled placing it on the bottom of the stairs from our deck, as I needed both hands to be in full-on Dog Handling Mode. So outside I scurried, wondering how I could have gone over TWO HOURS without noticing its absence. (Because obviously my speed at that moment was going to be what would save my Dexcom.)

I stood at the top of our deck, and looked down. Whew.

I was glad it was still there, but I was even more glad that it appeared to be both untouched and unharmed.

When I reached it, I clicked the "OK" button, to see just how long it had been out there - by seeing how much data I had missed.

Which gave me an even bigger surprise.

It had taken intermittent readings. THROUGH THE HOUSE.

As in, this far:

Remind me to never again complain about the range of the Dexcom. Ever.

Avocados With Flail Maces?

A few tidbits from this weekend:

• The doggie swimming pool we bought this weekend might have been the best $10 we've spent in a long time. (I recorded a very low-quality video of Billy enjoying it, here, if you want to see how ridiculous Billy Corgin is. Sidenote: how could he not be ridiculous, with a name like that?)
• The perfect time for a CGM sensor to die is on your way to breakfast. (A breakfast full of hollandaise sauce, pancakes, coffee, and anything else guaranteed to make your blood sugars unpredictable for several hours.) And that's exactly what happened on Sunday, when I had even planned my outfit around the fact that I wanted to conceal the sensor on my arm. The irony; it washes.
• Because my CGM sensor died on Sunday morning, and because it felt like a good time to take a mini-break from the constant BEEP! BEEP! BZZZZ! that is my usual routine, I took the rest of the day off from all things Dexcom. Two things happened, but only one of them was surprising: I ended up doing a heckuva lot more finger sticks that day than I normally would (duh), and I also saw a lot more in-range numbers than I typically do. Huh. Interesting.
• And lastly, I saw this sign while grocery shopping, about how avocados can "battle diabetes". It opens the door to many questions, like "How are they going to battle diabetes for me? Avocados don't even have arms." (Which, in turn, makes me want to ask, 'What are you going to do, bleed on me?') Also, "What sort of weapons would avocados choose in said battle? Crossbow? Nunchucks? Pruning shears?" But in all seriousness, a friend who works for this grocery store saw my tweet and will be emailing the store about the sign. Advocacy FTW!