#DBlogWeek: My Favorite Things.

Today's Diabetes Blog Week prompt: As we wrap up another Diabetes Blog Week, let’s share a few of our favorite things from the week. This can be anything from a #DBlogWeek post you loved, a fantastic new-to-you blog you found, a picture someone included in a post that spoke to you, or comment left on your blog that made you smile. Anything you liked is worth sharing!

* * * * *

So I'm a day late; who cares, so what. 

Lots of things to like about Diabetes Blog Week; here are but a few:

• Very long, scroll scroll scroll list of participants!
• Try not to drool.
• Thanks for the connection, Scott.
• When people hurt, I hurt too.
• Scott is sharply dressed.
• Recycling! (Psst - you can also use pliers)
• Epic poem.

Thanks go to Karen Graffeo for once again organizing Diabetes Blog Week - I know it has to be a bit like herding cats, but we appreciate what you do so much, Karen. I love it when we all focus on something together!

#DBlogWeek: Saturday Snapshots.

Today's Diabetes Blog Week prompt: Back for another year, let’s show everyone what life with diabetes looks like! With a nod to the Diabetes 365 project, let’s grab our cameras again and share some more d-related pictures. Post as many or as few as you’d like. Feel free to blog your thoughts on or explanations of your pictures, or leave out the written words and let the pictures speak for themselves.

* * * * *

A couple of highlights from the past couple of days:

The Rabbit takes a nap; the Billy wishes it was a two-creature stroller

It only took me three years to finally get around to applying!

#DBlogWeek: Mantras And More.

Today's prompt: Yesterday we opened up about how diabetes can bring us down. Today let’s share what gets us through a hard day. Or more specifically, a hard diabetes day. Is there something positive you tell yourself? Are there mantras that you fall back on to get you through? Is there something specific you do when your mood needs a boost? Maybe we've done that and we can help others do it too?

Find out more about Diabetes Blog Week here.

* * * * *

I thought about skipping this topic, because, you know.

However, there are certainly things I do to cheer myself up in a bad diabetes moment (more of the "More" than the "Mantra", I guess):

• Instagram or tweet whatever crap is happening and feel comforted and amused by the emoji-filled replies of those who get it
• go read blogs like Bigfoot Child Have Diabetes or i have the sugars or Typical Type 1
• try to think of something to post on Diabuzzfeed and probably not succeed but feel amused anyway
• refocus my energy into planning for FFL and related exhibit space for You Can Do This Project this summer (mentally waves at Glucolift across the hall)
• remember that whatever issue I'm having, it's temporary and one little speck of dust in the universe of my diabetes history

Bingo. That last one.

#DBlogWeek: What Brings Me Down.

Today's Diabetes Blog Week prompt: May is Mental Health Month so now seems like a great time to explore the emotional side of living with, or caring for someone with, diabetes. What things can make dealing with diabetes an emotional issue for you and / or your loved one, and how do you cope?

* * * * *

From the outside, a life with diabetes may look something like:

• get medications
• see a doctor; determine doses and diet plan
• follow all of the rules and instructions from your doctor between appointments
• your health reflects your efforts
• everything is awesome, like this:

But from the inside, we know differently.

We know that, for the most part, health doesn't happen in those 15 short minutes we may have with an endocrinologist or CDE every few months (so that's, what, an hour a year?). Health happens in those thousands of moments in between: calculating, dosing, measuring, deciding, reacting, guessing, and worrying at home.

It happens in all of the fingersticks, the injections, the pharmacy refills, the stubborn highs, the fights for insurance coverage to gain the privilege of using the devices and medications that maybe can help you remain healthy, the act of remembering to TAKE those medications, the time and sleep and precious moments lost to hypoglycemia, the management of all of that data.

And you know what? None of that, to me, is the hardest part about living with diabetes.

No - the hardest part of living with diabetes is what it does to your mind; your emotional state; your spirit.

The hard part is feeling proud that you remembered to do everything "right" the night before and then having that pride immediately deflated by a number you didn't expect to see on your meter the next morning.

The hard part is seeing the look of disgust on a parent's face as they shield their children's eyes from you as you inject (in what you thought was a discrete way) insulin in public, so that you can eat the meal in front of you.

The hard part is knowing that someone out there wonders if wearing a medical device that could improve their health will come at the cost of their self-esteem.

The hard part is knowing that on my hip and inside of a tiny machine resides a potentially lethal amount of a very potent drug that I have to administer in order to live. If I get the dosing wrong it could kill me, and I have to accept this. I have to be okay with this.

The hard part is having to always assume, and plan for, the worst case scenario.

The hard part is not letting the warped version of what society has defined as an "ideal" prevent you from taking the amount of insulin your body needs.

The hard part is balancing the "could" with the "should".

The hard part is knowing that maybe, no matter what you do or how hard you try, you may still experience complications.

The hard part is not letting depression run the show. 

The hard part is talking yourself out of a "why bother?" attitude, self-harm, or even suicide, because if my best has no guarantee of being good enough.... then what is the point?

I'll say it again: the hardest part of living with diabetes is what it does to your spirit. It gives you so many reasons to just throw up your hands and not even try.

This is exactly why we need each other. This is why being connected to other people with diabetes is one of the most important things we can do for our health. Seeing your own experiences in the words of others gives us relief... so it isn't just me. This is a version of "normal". I'm not alone. This is something I can actually talk about, and people will understand me. Other people get what this is like; even the parts I don't dare say out loud.

It's really, really hard to allow ourselves to be vulnerable with each other but I find that there is a certain empowerment that comes with allowing ourselves to let go of a little fear. Add in humor, and you've hit my sweet spot of emotional support.

This is how I cope.

#DBlogWeek: Poetry Tuesday.

Today's prompt: This year, Diabetes Blog Week and TuDiabetes are teaming up to bring out the poet in you! Write a poem, rhyme, ballad, haiku, or any other form of poetry about diabetes. After you’ve posted it on your blog, share it on the No Sugar Added® Poetry page on TuDiabetes, and read what others have shared there as well!

Editor's note: For the past couple of years I have had a mildly obsessive desire to rewrite, and then get a bunch of people together to act out, various SNL Weekend Update sketches with a diabetes slant. So I guess this isn't so much poetry as it is facetious scriptwriting. Rules? I break them!

* * * * *

[ANTHONY CRISPINO]

So Anthony, what have you been hearing news-wise about diabetes?

Aaaaaah (looks both ways)... did you hear about this thing? Yeah, some strip clubs are being graded now, but none of them have popular names and GPS can never find them.

No, no, you've got it wrong. I think you're talking about test strips being marketed as "generic", and people are concerned about their accuracy.

I'm pretty sure it was about stripping, Seth. Yeah, and you can only touch the strippers once.

No, no, no. The strips work with One Touch meters.

IIIIIIIII'm pretty sure it was about strippers.

Okay, okay. What else is in the news?

(looks around) Did you uuuuuh.... did you hear about this one?

I won't know until you tell me about it.

Yeah, some people are on this really restrictive diet. Can you believe it? They eat exactly what the Berenstain Bears eat - it's nothing but salmon and honey. 

Ah... well, actually the salmon part might be true, but no - you're talking about the Bernstein diet. It has nothing to do with bears or children's books.

IIIIIII'm pretty sure it's about bears, Seth.

It's not. I promise.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII'm pretty sure people are eating like bears!

[STEFON]

Stefon, people are looking for great places to travel this summer. What can you tell us?

Okay, okay.
New York's hottest club is BEEP BEEP BEEP.
Opened in 2015 on the Upper East Side of your stomach, club owner Dexter Comrade has gone all out.
This club has EVERYTHING:
Tabs, gels, smushed granola bars, exotic juice box flavors, tube trimmers....

I think I'm afraid to ask... what are "tube trimmers"?

It's that thing where a midget on a unicycle rides around with a pair of giant scissors, and cuts all of the insulin pump tubing he finds because he thinks it's a string hanging from your shirt.

That... is really offensive. And that cannot be a real thing.

#DBlogWeek: Change The World.

Today's prompt: Let’s kick off Diabetes Blog Week by talking about the diabetes causes and issues that really get us fired up. Are you passionate about 504 plans and school safety? Do diabetes misconceptions irk you? Do you fight for CGM coverage for Medicare patients, SDP funding, or test strip accuracy? Do you work hard at creating diabetes connections and bringing support? Whether or not you “formally” advocate for any cause, share the issues that are important to you.

* * * * *

Diabetes Blog Week! Woo!

(In years past I've had the time to write posts ahead of time and actually thoroughly think through the answers but not the case this year. Bear with me?)

There are times where I find it difficult to focus my diabetes advocacy efforts. There are so many issues and causes that I know are important and I have a lot of feelings about so many of them. It's becoming apparent that, for me, it's best to narrow it down and do a few things really well (or at least, be able to put enough effort into them to make some kind of impact) than say yes to everything but not do any of it particularly well. A more concise way to say that: "work on a few things and RT the rest".

Sometimes that means stepping away from things. It's not been an easy feeling to say "no" to helping with issues to which I very much want to say "yes", but I'm learning to live with the discomfort. (I have to - there's just only so much of my free time I can commit.)

I think my diabetes advocacy passions will always default to the psychosocial and emotional aspects of living with diabetes, but the more I learn about access issues - to test strips, to continuous glucose monitoring, to insulin pumps, to insulin itself - the more I feel the need to do something about making sure that everyone with diabetes has access to the same life-saving medications and technologies that I currently do. I am incredibly lucky/privileged to be able to use a brand new insulin pump; to wear a CGM at all times; to have an insurance plan that covers the majority of my diabetes-related health costs (even if I have to fight them for that coverage sometimes); to have an adequate supply of insulin in a refrigerator and pump supplies in the drawer(s); to be under the care of doctors who work with me to decide how to best care for myself; to have access to the internet and the support of so many people who understand, intimately, what this life with diabetes is like.

This is where I'm going to be focusing more of my attention, and I hope that when the call sounds, you'll raise your voice too. (I'm actually working on something very specific, but I don't want to distract from the #DBlogWeek shenanigans. Check back with me next week.)

If you're interested in working with others on a broad spectrum of diabetes advocacy issues, consider becoming a member of the Diabetes Advocates organization (united voices are louder, you know). We're working on some great initiatives, and we need your help. (And if you can make it - come to Orlando on July 2nd for the MasterLab event.)



Find out more about Diabetes Blog Week here.

#DBlogWeek: Accomplishments Big and Small.

Today's prompt: We don’t always realize it, but each one of us has come a long way since diabetes first came into our life. It doesn’t matter if it’s been 5 weeks, 5 years or 50 years; you’ve done something outstanding diabetes-wise. So today, let’s share the greatest accomplishment you've made in terms of dealing with your (or your loved one’s) diabetes. No accomplishment is too big or too small - think about self-acceptance, something you’ve mastered (pump / exercise / diet / etc.), or making a tough care decision (finding a new endo or support group / choosing to use or not use a technology /etc.).

Twenty seven years is an awfully long time.

• It's as long as Carly Rae Jepsen has been alive.
• It's the amount of time the world has had to wait for peanut butter-flavored Pop Tarts to make a come back.
• It's how long ago the movie Top Gun was released.
• It's the age at which musicians should probably make sure they have a life insurance policy.
• If you own a Chevy Volt, it's how long you'll have to wait to break even.
• In that time, you will (on average) blink 216,000,000 times, take 170,294,400 breaths, and your heart will beat 1,135,296,000 times.

How many situations that most would consider "bad" could happen in that time? How many times might a person become discouraged, frustrated, or angered? How many life-altering events might happen? How many reasons might life give you that could justify giving up on your optimism?

My greatest accomplishment is that, after all these years, I am still holding on to mine.

Everything you need to know about Diabetes Blog Week can be found here!

#DBlogWeek: Memories.

My participation in this year's Diabetes Blog Week can best be described as scattered, iffy, occasional, not as originally intended... I seem to have once again over-booked myself in terms of both projects and future energy stores. I love this event, though! Everything you need to know about Diabetes Blog Week can be found here if you're curious, and Karen is a saint in my book for organizing us all.

Today's prompt: Today we’re going to share our most memorable diabetes day. You can take this anywhere.... your or your loved one's diagnosis, a bad low, a bad high, a big success, any day that you’d like to share.

Oh, man.

It's hard to pick just one day - plenty of memories, both good and bad, have been a result of my life with diabetes.

My diagnosis story? I don't remember much about it, though I do appreciate the compassionate care I've received from medical professionals along the way. There was that time my insulin pump died and I didn't even care because MARRIED! There were times as a tween where my diabetes scared the crap out of my parents - twice they found me unresponsive in bed and had to use glucagon (though, to be fair, I actually don't remember much of that, except for the part where I woke up to see two paramedics standing in my room). Bad highs? I've had those, too.

But for all of the muck that diabetes has thrown my way, there are some pretty great memories, too: when I ran-ish a half-marathon, when I've traveled to Australia or the Dominican Republic, and during that week in Florida where I met, finally in person, so many of my good friends who also happen to have pancreas problems. Diabetes was the reason I got to attend an awesome summer camp for two years. Diabetes has helped me tell a story that did good beyond just myself, and motivated me to create something that can continue to help other people living with diabetes. It gave me a reason to dance to One Direction.

What I guess I'm saying is that diabetes has made for many memorable days in my life, but my current favorite? The day we found out I was pregnant. It was the day I first really let myself believe that maybe, just maybe, diabetes will let me live the life I want after all.

It gave me hope that this body perhaps isn't as broken as I sometimes fear.

#DBlogWeek: What They Should Know.

Today let’s borrow a topic from a #dsma chat held last September. The tweet asked “What is one thing you would tell someone that doesn’t have diabetes about living with diabetes?”. Let’s do a little advocating and post what we wish people knew about diabetes. Have more than one thing you wish people knew? Go ahead and tell us everything.

* * * * *

Inspired by this morning's fasting number, I'd like people without diabetes to know that one number

always has a story behind it. And a person, with feelings and insecurities and a desire to do better, behind that story.

And in unrelated news, there's something I want YOU to know: Some familiar DOC faces and I will be at Eli Lilly headquarters in Indianapolis on Monday for some sort of "blogger event", and I'd like your feedback on the kinds of things you want us to ask them. Leave a comment below! (Disclosure: Lilly Diabetes will be paying for my flights, acccomodations and meals during this trip. I am not being financially compensated for attendance.)

(P.S. Voting for the DHF Seeds grant begins on Monday - look out for the You Can Do This Project video I made to show up on the DHF Vimeo channel! Don't worry, I'll be all linky about it Monday morning.)

#DBlogWeek: Fantasy Diabetes Device.

Today's prompt: Today let’s tackle an idea inspired by Bennet of Your Diabetes May Vary. Tell us what your Fantasy Diabetes Device would be? Think of your dream blood glucose checker, delivery system for insulin or other meds, magic carb counter, etc etc etc. The sky is the limit – what would you love to see?

* * * * *

Everyone else has Siri.

I want a Bigi.

(Get it? Siri, but for diabetes?)

Can you imagine the possibilities? She has to know everything that's going on with me - linked in to my pump settings and history, various glucose meters, a built-in pedometer to account for my activity (or lack thereof), the ability to sync with other applications, a sense of what time of month it is (ahem), and a little bit of a Magic 8-Ball forecasting ability. Oh hell, and let's throw in the fact that she's an artificial pancreas, too. (Hey, it says fantasy device, right? This is my dream! I will have flying puppies made of sunshine if I want!)

One application to rule them all...

DONK DONK! "Bigi, how should I bolus for this sandwich?"

DINK DINK! "Kim, you were dancing half an hour ago, and you've dropped below 60 mg/dL between 2:00 am and 4:00 am the past three nights. Let's try 5 units but decrease your basal rate for four hours."


DONK DONK! "Why am I 352 right now?"

DINK DINK! "That sandwich had more carbs than Calorie King suggested. I'll remember that for the future."


DONK DONK! "When was the last time I did an infusion site change?"

DINK DINK! "You last changed your site on Tuesday. You still have 11 hours before it should be changed."


DONK DONK! "Where do you think I should put the new site?"

DINK DINK! "The last four sites were in your abdomen. How about your left leg, this time?"


DONK DONK! "I need to make an eye appointment for next week."

DINK DINK! "I found one open appointment time with your doctor next week. Do you want me to schedule it?"

DONK DONK! "YES!!!"


DONK DONK! "Diabetes is lame, Bigi. I've been on the glucoaster all day."

DINK DINK! "Here are some blog posts you may want to read."


DONK DONK! "Does my insurance cover the test strips for this new meter?"

DINK DINK! "Yes, it looks like your co-pay would be $20 per month for those strips."


DONK DONK! "I want to go swimming for an hour."

DINK DINK! "You go ahead. I'll take care of your basal rates."


DONK DONK! "Someone just told me that I could cure type 1 diabetes with a vegan diet, and now I want to punch them."

DINK DINK! "I found three bars that are fairly close to you..."

#DBlogWeek: One Thing To Improve.

Today's prompt: Yesterday we gave ourselves and our loved ones a big pat on the back for one thing we are great at. Today let’s look at the flip-side. We probably all have one thing we could try to do better. Why not make today the day we start working on it. No judgments, no scolding, just sharing one small thing we can improve so the DOC can cheer us on!

* * * * *

I've been sitting, staring at a blank screen (okay, who are we kidding - I checked Facebook a few times) for several minutes now, and this prompt is leaving me wondering:

How do I pick just one thing?

I mean, staying in range for more than a few hours? That's something to celebrate when it happens.

Food choices? Not always great.

Do I always remember to keep a coin with me for insulin battery changes? Nope.

And does that insulin pump work perfectly every time? 

Hmm... well what about pump site placement? I must be able to avoid veins by now, right?

Okay, well SURELY after 26 years, I'd having the sense to check my CGM before I brush my...

...OH MY GOD ARE YOU KIDDING ME.

When it comes to diabetes and "areas to improve", most areas overlap. The whole experience is one big experiment; a never-ending cycle of try and try again - then, hey, what about trying again? Which, when I put it like that, sounds very Debbie Downer.

Apparently, my area to improve is "focusing on just one thing at a time".

#DBlogWeek: One Great Thing.

Today's prompt: Living with diabetes (or caring for someone who lives with it) sure does take a lot of work, and it’s easy to be hard on ourselves if we aren’t “perfect”. But today it’s time to give ourselves some much deserved credit. Tell us about just one diabetes thing you (or your loved one) does spectacularly! Fasting blood sugar checks, oral meds sorted and ready, something always on hand to treat a low, or anything that you do for diabetes. Nothing is too big or too small to celebrate doing well!

* * * * *

I'm not sure what this says about me, really, but I seem to have developed a reputation for bolusing for alcohol with some finesse - to the point that a fellow PWD recently texted me well into the night hours, asking for advice on a stubborn high after a couple of glasses of wine. They wanted to bolus, but didn't want to tank later while they slept (alone, and in an unfamiliar hotel room).

Again, should I be proud of this? Because, kids, it takes a lot of trial and error to get here. I emphasize errors. (It also takes finally admitting to yourself that mixed drinks are just a horrible idea all around, unless you can use a Diet mixer.) I don't know the answer to that question, but I do know that a few years back, I would have LOVED to read how someone else did this, because I was clueless and needed to hear someone else's trials and tribulations.

I can only say what works for me, and it is said along with the typical disclaimers: I'm not giving anything even remotely resembling medical advice; don't try this at home; YDMV (your diabetes may vary); I'm not condoning drinking in general, OR drinking with diabetes; consult your doctor first, etc. etc.

Okay, now that THAT's out of the way...

If I drink, it tends to be white wine. Sometimes I'll try a red, and sometimes I'll have a cider beer or a "diet" mixed drink. If you can figure out the full-sugar drinks, more power to you; I just can't walk that tightrope very skillfully. After several years of stubbornness trying, I've pretty well given up. So what's the pattern, you may ask? What's the central piece of knowledge I've gleaned?

Wine will make me go a little higher for the first few hours, and then once I hit hour five, I start tanking.

Here's the deal with me and wine: if I start drinking before the meal (say, half an hour before) and the meal has some degree of fat in it (think Italian food), the two pretty much cancel each other out in terms of delayed spikes and drops, so I do a regular one-time bolus and let it ride.

If I didn't start drinking until after I've eaten some food, I bolus a little bit extra up front. Every time I hit that five hour mark, though, I start dropping. Hardcore. I need food in my stomach at that point, even with no IOB - really.

Am I recommending that you drink? Nope. But if you do, I hope you'll do it safely. I watch my Dexcom receiver like a hawk, and I check my blood sugar as often as I can remember. I can drop very, very quickly once those drinks have had a few hours to do their thing, and past experience has taught me to watch out.

It's also a great idea to let someone that you're out with know about your situation, as it were - and wear a medical ID, wuddya? You do not want things to go badly and have people not know how to help you (or, worse yet, just think you're extremely drunk and let you "sleep it off").

And if anyone can figure out and share how to bolus and stay under 200 (without dropping like it's hot) for sugary drinks - well, I'll buy you one.

 (If you want to know more about how diabetes and alcohol mix - go here.)

#DBlogWeek: Wildcard. (Already?)

Today's prompt is intended to get folks to share the blogs they read that others "may not know about". I'm hoping you'll scroll through my blogroll (see the lower left; you can click to expand) and check out some of those fabulous people!

I'm a bit swamped at the moment, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed in regards to fully participating in Diabetes Blog Week.


Why am I swamped? Well, I applied for a DHF Seeds micro-grant for the You Can Do This Project, and was selected as a finalist! This means that I'm now creating a short video to show the diabetes online community what my idea is, why they should vote to have it funded (the micro-grant is $2,000, spendable only on certain things), and what I'll spend the money on. I've been spending pretty much every free moment in the last two weeks on this video (I think Aaron's starting to forget what I look like), and I'm REALLY EXCITED for you all to see it when voting opens one week from today, on 5/21! In the meantime, here's a sneak peek. I'll leave it to you to guess the storyline. Suspense!

Diabetes Blog Week - Are You In?

Head over to Bittersweet Diabetes to find out all about the 3rd annual Diabetes Blog Week! It begins a week from today, and Karen has made it super easy to participate by giving us a list of topics ahead of time, an easy-to-use form to sign yourself up with, and link lists so you can see where you can read each day's posts. Don't have a blog? Start one on Blogger or Wordpress, or use the built-in blogging function on one of the diabetes communities like TuDiabetes, Juvenation or Diabetes Daily.

What are you waiting for? Go sign up! (And big thanks to Karen for once again organizing this fantastic way to connect with the diabetes community!)

What I Learned.

I'm a couple of days late with this post - mostly because when I sat down to write in on Sunday evening, I couldn't find the right combination of words to express what I'm feeling.

I'm still not certain that I can find those words - but I'll try.

Here was the prompt: What have you learned from other blogs - either this week or since finding the D-OC? What has your experience of blogging the DBlog Week topics with other participants been like? What has finding the D-OC done for you? If you'd like, you can even look ahead and tell us what you think the future holds!

I tend to talk about the DOC a lot. (Um... you may have noticed.) I've talked about that moment when I first realized that I wasn't alone after all; how reading my experiences through someone else's words feels validating and depressing all at once; how being connected can make me feel supported, yet guilty somehow.

I guess what's why I couldn't find the words the other night - because I've already spoken many of them.

But Diabetes Blog Week did provide some amplification - more voices, focused and more frequent writing, and a heightened sense of community. The amount of participants (times 7 posts each, equals...  brain aneurysm) was astounding to me. (On a related note... Hallie put together what must have been a very time-consuming video with just about everybody listed on there. Wow!) And the imaginations, creativity, and just plain guts this community possesses was so fun to see.

I think Diabetes Blog Week strengthens the bonds we have in this community, with each other. We may not all agree on many things (or anything at all, necessarily) - but we can still respect and support one another. We can agree to disagree. We can empathize and reassure, even when we can't endorse or affirm.

We're family, and that's what families do.

Thank You.

Diabetes Blog Week 2011 has come to a close, and this video put together by Mike of What Some Would Call Lies illustrates just how awesome our community (and DBlog Week's organizer, Karen) is.

Thank you Karen!! It was a great week, and I can't wait until next year.

(And thanks to Mike for putting together such a great "thank you"! This video makes me grin. A lot.)

Saturday Snapshot.

Today's prompt: Inspired by the Diabetes 365 project, let’s snap a few more d-related pictures and share them again. Post as many or as few as you’d like. Be creative! Feel free to blog your thoughts on or explanations of your pictures. Or leave out the written words and let the pictures speak for themselves.

* * * * *

A sure sign that 23 days is far too long to wear a Dexcom sensor.

(But it was a new record!)

Awesome.

Today's prompt: In February the #dsma blog carnival challenged us to write about the most awesome thing we’d done DESPITE diabetes. Today let’s put a twist on that topic and focus on the good things diabetes has brought us. What awesome thing have you (or your child) done BECAUSE of diabetes? After all, like my blog header says, life with diabetes isn’t all bad!

* * * * *

I'm having a bit of trouble with today's prompt topic - even though "awesome" is one of my favorite words. (And right now, "Blogger" definitely isn't - but that's another story.) I'm totally comfortable admitting my faults, bloopers, nerd cred... but "the awesome"? Not so comfortable.

I've written, erased, and rewritten this post a few times today... but it never quite sounds right. I've decided I just need to write, and quit over-thinking it (HAHAHAHA not possible but it sounds good).

Despite, but mostly because of, diabetes...

...I feel a sense of purpose.

Prior to finding the DOC, I felt a little bit lost. I'm not just talking about "lost" in the sense of living with diabetes - I actually just felt that way in general. My life was "good", but I didn't feel like I was headed anywhere particularly special or significant. I wasn't doing or contributing to much that was bigger than my own personal life bubble.

Diabetes, and the online community, as provided ways for me to feel more self-worth. It's given me empathy to hundreds of scenarios that diabetes can bring. It's opened my eyes to causes that need attention. It's helped me crawl out of my shell; forced me (in the best way) to extend myself socially in ways I might not have before.

Did you know that I'm actually kind of shy? At least I feel that I am. I often make myself blurt something out to appear otherwise, in situations I don't feel completely confident in.

But things like that have gotten easier for me in the last couple of years. I think I have my relationship with diabetes (and others who have it) to thank for that, at least in part. And with all of the ridiculously nice comments you guys leave here (really - I am known to tear up over them at times (shocker!), and really appreciate every one of them), you've helped boost my confidence, too.

That confidence has helped me extend myself more, which (I hope) does some good for others, which makes me feel better about the person I am.

I get to do things that matter to people. That's pretty much the definition of "awesome", to me.

What I'm saying is that any semblence of awesome I may appear to have can be traced directly back to all of the awesomeness that is YOU, the DOC.

Thank you for that.

P.S. A prayer to the Blogger Gods - please give me back the comments on my post yesterday, and all of the comments that have been left on other posts in the last 24ish hours. Seriously. Not okay.

Ten Things.

Today's prompt: Having a positive attitude is important . . . but let’s face it, diabetes isn’t all sunshine and roses (or glitter and unicorns, for that matter). So today let’s vent by listing ten things about diabetes that we hate. Make them funny, make them sarcastic, make them serious, make them anything you want them to be!!

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The Top Ten Reasons I'd Like To Break Up With Diabetes.

1. Partners should pull their own weight in a relationship, but I'm the one doing all of the heavy lifting, every day. Rude.
2. You are the most expensive date ever. You're all about wearing the top labels - but that stuff's expensive, dude. An ATM, I am not.
3. You give me chills; they're multiplying. And sometimes, I lose control. (And not in a good way.)
4. Wicked, rapid mood swings. Up, down. Back up again. Crashing down. Seriously? Get your crap together.
5. I can never get a straight answer from you about the future. I mean, you put a ring on it; sure. We've been together for 25 years, so we've got some stability and experience on our side. But I've heard about your other relationships, and you've done some pretty rotten things to people. I can't help but wonder if we'll follow the same road.
6. When was the last time we cuddled?
7. I'm always carrying your accessories around for you, and these ginormous purses hurt my shoulders. Gift cards for massages welcome on my next birthday.
8. Much like Kanye West, you're attention-starved and never seem to stop talking.
9. You're always like, "Oh, let's try Mexican food again! I love that stuff! I can totally handle it!". And then you're yelling at me about how horrible it was for hours afterwards.
10. And finally, Diabetes, you hurt me all the time. You're a prick. There. I said it.

My Dress For #DProm.

Today's prompt is "Diabetes Bloopers", but since that's what I tend to write about any other time, I'm using one of the "wild card" topics: Today let's PROVE some fun d-myths like #dprom (the prom for diabetics around the world), Sprinkles (the glittery unicorn of advocacy), or Blünt Lancet (the diabetic heroes of rock)! Choose one of these “d-myths” (or create one yourself) and take it someplace creative! Write about any "myth" or story-line you can dream up! Let’s bring those “myths” to life!

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I'd like to introduce...

My D-Prom Dress.

A. It's blue and glittery, for obvious reasons. It is also swingy, as I plan to do a LOT of dancing with my fellow PWDs.

B. "Sensible" shoes I can party all night in.

C. A purse just large enough to carry all of my d-gear, but small enough to feel fancy. And you can bet your BeDazzler that it's got a rhinestone cupcake on it.

D. Diet Coke martini, garnished with bacon. (Don't ask.)

E. Insulin pump, clipped to my dress and worn proudly as a corsage.

F. Huge goofy grin - because I can't imagine having any other expression at an event like this.

G. Horribly drawn kneecaps, and limbs that are much more skinny than in real life - brought to you by the magic that is Paintbrush!