1 Sweet Life.

My late teens were a time when diabetes really started to weigh on me, and I didn't always feel equipped in dealing with the whole "I'm going to have this forever, probably" thing. Testing didn't happen often, taking insulin wasn't a consistently timed routine, and I somehow got to a place of thinking that I was the only one struggling so much to be that "good diabetic" I kept hearing so much about. 

It seems like it's that way for a lot of folks - the teens and early twenties can be some of the worst in terms of management - physically, emotionally, socially, everything. There's a bit of a gap in support systems for this age group.

That's where a new social networking site called 1 Sweet Life comes in:

1SweetLife.org is a new social networking site designed for teens with type 1 diabetes and their families. The founder, Brad Lowder, is the father of a type 1 teen and he is really passionate about creating a place for teens to feel normal and accepted.

A little about their vision:

Our vision is to motivate our members to take better care of themselves so they can lead healthier, happier, longer, and more fulfilled lives. We’ll use fun, creative strategies, and cutting-edge tools and technology to address common challenges.

Thanks to Mike Lawson for the heads up on this new community! Go check it out at www.1sweetlife.org and on Facebook.

A Week In (Random) Photos.

Things are a wee bit crazy around here this week and the next, and so without further ado, here are a few of the less crazy parts. Have a great weekend!

Planking!

And again! (These workouts seem to doing magical things
to my numbers. Sometimes. I mean, c'mon - diabetes
never really does anything consistently. I'll enjoy these
while they last.)

Defiant Daffodil is back.

Last year, I couldn't grow cilantro to save my life. This year,
it was the first to sprout. Get on with your bad self, little guy!

After years of only using IV3000 for adhesive tape, I've made the
switch to Opsite Flexifix. (Thanks, Sara, for letting me try a piece of
yours.) It stays in place so well! It's like duct tape, but far less
painful. I had to order this stuff on Amazon because my supply
place doesn't carry it. Yet.

Speaking of Sara, we both learned this week
that apparently you can spell it "asterix". I
always thought it was "asterisk". Hmm. Also,
I really wanted this to be a curse word.

It's been a few months now, and I think I can (maybe)
confidently say that I've kicked my soda habit. I've stuck
to coffee, water and iced tea; specifically, this stuff.
Sure, it contains Splenda, but it has to be better
than soda. Right?

Falling asleep in the one patch of sunlight in the living
room - do I own a dog or a cat?

Girl Walk. All Day.

In the spirit of Wordless Wednesday but without actually following any of its rules, I'm sharing this film trailer. If you're not familiar with the mashup artist Girl Talk, he smooshes a bunch of great songs together and what results is nothing short of brilliant. He can use tracks from Jay-Z, Radiohead, Lady Gaga, The Ramones, Remy Ma and the Jackson 5 and somehow it all just works together. I unapologetically love his music - it's my go-to music for feeling happy, spontaneously dancing, and generally perking up my mood.

Please note that the music he samples is not censored, so whatever language was in the original song will be in his version of it. In other words: NOT SUITABLE FOR WORK. This isn't for everyone, I realize. The film is quirky and a little weird. But "quirky and a little weird" is probably why I love it, and on the small chance that you'll love it too, I'm sharing.

Anyhoo, what does that have to do with a film? Someone made a 77-minute film with Girl Talk's album "All Day" as the soundtrack. It is the reason I'm a little bleary-eyed today; I only got through the first four "chapters" before I needed to let me head slam into the pillow last night. The premise, according to Boing Boing::

A young dancer finds herself disgruntled with her low-paying, mundane waitressing job. One day, she impulsively quits, then takes a ferry to the city. Feeling incredibly inspired by what she sees, Anne dances her way across New York, using the city as her stage. Throughout her journey, she meets characters of all types, including a series of like-minded dancers, who'll inspire new movements, engage her in small battles, and teach her to fear, love, laugh and live anew. From the ferry to museums, subways, ball games, bridges, bodegas, graveyards, flower shops, and more, Anne's journey will bring her far and wide. See the trailer, in full, at http://girlwalkallday.com/

And so, here you go. I hope it brings you the joy it brings me.

I'm Not Sick, But I'm Not Well.

It's tough to say where it started; I only know that it's here, now.

A need to force a smile. Joker's block. (That's like 'writer's block', but for humor, right?) A propensity to tear up at the small things (which, actually, is how I am all the time). More than one person asking lately, "Are you okay?", with me dismissing their concern.

I hesitate to call it depression - because I've felt that before, and what I'm feeling now both disseminates far less deeply and disappears far more quickly.  I'm thankful for my friends who share their experiences with depression, because it causes me to be more self-aware of my own state of things, and it helps me feel more okay about seeking help if that should be the case for me. (And this time, it really is me, not you guys.) But no, I don't think it's that. Not this time.

It's a general sense of "feeling down", and it's looming like a small raincloud over my head these past few weeks. Like Eeyore, but less endearing.

I'm working my way through it, day by day. Whether my mood actually becomes better or just becomes more manageable - I'm not sure.

And why? It has been a number of small things; things that when they occur don't seem like much, but when I zoom out to the big picture, I go "Oh. That. That's a lot of things. Makes sense now." (Apparently my internal monologue is full of staccato sentences.)

The difference here, and most of the reason I'm fairly certain this is more "being down" and not "being depressed", is that I am more equipped to work on these things. And - this being the big part - I don't let my stubbornness get in the way of deciding to act on those. I can recognize myself feeling this way about a particular aspect of life, and within a relatively short amount of time, I can say to myself "Okay, I can either continue to be mopey, or I can actually do something to improve my situation." I can identify tangible things I can do to help myself - for example, frustration with a current job could translate to brushing up the resumé and looking at what else is out there - instead of allowing myself to aimlessly wallow.

The part I've come to now is more difficult - dealing with the things I cannot effectively change. In the past week I've experienced loss of two sorts: an old friend, my age who had also had T1, passed away (not sure if that played into what happened or not), and I've gone through the emotional roller coaster with family as my sister-in-law first learned she was pregnant, and subsequently found she had miscarried. There are other situations as well.

I'm not sure what I'm really trying to say, other than to say that I'm here, and I'm waddling through a bit of stuff at the moment. Writing this also helps me mark down when I've felt this way - blogs are often an online journal, after all.

I'm reminding myself that I'm not powerless to work on some of it, and perhaps I just need to be a bit more patient with other aspects. And the rest? I'm not sure, but I'm doing what I can to deal with it in a healthy way.

(Post title nod to Harvey Danger.)

Please Explain.

Wordless Wednesday: Billy Corgin Flashback.

Was he ever this little? And was that really just nine
months ago? And how did we get him to pose as if
he were the Most Interesting Man In The World?

Cause and Effect.

Sometimes it takes me a bit to see the dotted lines connecting my blood sugar to the one specific thing that has caused it this time. With so many variables, there's a mental checklist I go through when I see a graph like this (after I indulge myself with a couple seconds of feeling deflated):

1. When was the last time I ate?
2. Did I forget to bolus?
3. Did I eat more than I planned for when I took that bolus? (Related: am I horrible at carb guessing?)
4. Did my infusion site clog/kink/come loose?
5. Was the insulin skunky/old/ineffective?
6. Has the site been in too long? Wait, when did I put this site in?
7. Is it Tuesday? (read: diabetes is on its own schedule and doesn't always need a good reason to mess with me)

I decided to give my day-old infusion site a looksie, and as it turns out, it had been collecting something.

Ewww.

Not one to enable a hoarder, I ripped the site off and slapped a new one on. I did a quick check to make sure that CGM graph was right, and it was in the ballpark: 317, according to the Verio. I puffed my cheeks in frustration, trying to do that very specific kind of not-really-math where you go, "Okay, I bolused X half an hour ago, but Y probably leaked out when I pulled the site, so I guess I'll do a correction bolus of Z and hope that's somewhere near close enough".

One more gross picture of that infusion site? Okay, here you go.

Note: if you're wondering what sort of infusion set this is, it's made by Spring Diabetes. They were kind enough to send me some free samples, which I'm trying out for a couple of weeks before I form a solid opinion on them. Don't let the blood and guts deter you - any infusion site has the ability to hit a blood vessel, yaknow? User error!

Things I Learned Yesterday.

1. Thom Yorke sounds just as great live as he does on Radiohead albums, and he still dances as though he's halfway between a caffiene binge and a seizure. And I love him for it.
2. Diabetes isn't particularly fond of 7 hours spent in a car within a 12 hour period.
3. Diabetes is also not fond of margaritas. But I am.
4. Did you know the Sprint Center serves margaritas? I didn't, either. Huh.
5. I realized too late that my glasses, scarf and long cardigan sweater combination gave me the appearance of being a hipster, except that I'm not. (If only I had worn skinnier jeans!)
6. When it comes to doing what I need to do, I truly don't give a sheet about where I am or if anyone else cares. If my pump only has enough insulin left in it to cover my basal dose for the rest of the concert (three plus hours in the car, and I couldn't do a cartridge change? I know. Blame Draw Something. Also, it's really hard to draw when you're the passenger in a moving car. /digression), I will do an injection in the middle of standing room-only general admission. And no one seemed to notice.

    7.   And lastly, Arby's at midnight is never a good idea, no matter how hungry you are. The mild food-borne illness you'll contract is not fun times. 

Bacon.

Kevin Bacon seems to be one of those pop culture references that comes up a lot.

Example: earlier today, I tweeted about how yucky a high blood sugar was making me feel, and a friend mused that it was the perfect time for some dancing. I agreed, but seeing as how I was at work, it wasn't really possible and I'd just have to deal. I then included the hashtag #whereiskevinbaconwhenyouneedhim, and the conversation eventually derailed to this.

WE WERE SO YOUNG.

Not Photoshopped. It really happened.

It's a fun *kapow* to have in those Bacon-flavored bouts of banter.

Beads and the 'Beetus.

As much as I love interacting with the diabetes online community, I very much appreciate the offline opportunities I get to hang out, too. It's tough to beat the chance to be face-to-face; to wear our insulin pumps out in the open air; to compare glucose meters by some other way than holding them up to the ol' webcam.



Because diabetes gives you super powers, identities have been protected.
(Except that I'm the only non-Medtronic user in the bunch. Foiled!)



A few months back, I found a couple of ladies my age-ish who also have type 1 and live where I live. We met for dinner (it felt very much like a blind date, as we connected online first, and I brought them roses) (kidding, I didn't) and found that we clicked really well. We talked about a lot of things that night, and one sticking point was, "Why isn't there a support group here for adults with type 1?". (The local JDRF chapter has a kids group that has been going strong for several years, but the adults version never really took off, so they stopped.)

The conversation then transitioned to, "Well, we could always just start one..."

And so we did. We meet once a month, and we've grown our numbers a wee bit. Not everyone comes each month, and not everyone who RSVP's shows up, but that's okay. We're providing the resource we wished had been there for us, and it needs some time to grow. It's kind of like that Gandhi quote, if I may get all philosophical for a moment: "Be the change you want to see in the world". It might as well be us, right?

Last night we met at a bead store (not a bread store, much to Amanda's chagrin) and made some jewelry - some of us made medical IDs, and some of us made the normal stuff. We even got to do some advocacy, as the store owner had many questions for us about what type of diabetes we had, how insulin pumps work, and what we can or cannot eat. Boy, did she ask the right people...

I'm especially in love with the blue one I made, and plan to wear it at least every Friday. Thanks for a great time, as always, ladies! :)