Thursday, February 2, 2012

Hitting "Refresh" On Normal.

A new diagnosis, new medications, new ways of preparing food. New amounts to eat or not eat. New rules, new goals, new fears.

A new Normal.

Food = fingersticks. Injections or pump sites. Counting the carbohydrates in every single thing you ingest, then worrying about how accurate that count really was.
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A new Normal.

That big stupid black meter case following you around everywhere. A jar of glucose tabs in the bottom of your purse. Back-up infusion sites. Do I have enough test strips to get through today? Do I have enough pen needles? Do I have enough energy?

A new Normal.

Yosemite Sam highs. (As in, "#!*%#$@!" escapes my mouth when I see the number on the meter.) Lows that shake you to your core; no symptoms, just post-realization panic. Sites that don't absorb anymore; pump sites that clog up; injections that leak back out. Spots of blood on everything you own. Blunt lancets.

A new Normal.

"Why didn't it click when I downed three glasses of water in a row?" "How could I have misjudged the carbs so badly?" "How do they pack so many hidden carbs in sushi?" "Why do I keep thinking I can eat breakfast cereal?"

Normal is a spectrum, and we are champion chameleons.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Best of the 'Betes Blogs: January Selections.

As I mentioned on Friday, I'm hosting the "Best of the 'Betes Blogs" carnival thingie today. (Carnival thingie! Technical term!) This round-up of posts exists with the idea that there are likely a whole slew of blogs and posts out there that some of you haven't discovered yet, and by pointing those out in an organized way each month, everyone's circles of support might expand a wee bit.

Nominations are in, and posts have been read. Thank you to everyone who sent in their selections!

And now, let the linkage begin:

Sometimes low blood sugars involve Yoda, gummy bears, and molasses legs. [Humor]

"I missed! I'll try again." [Vlog]

"The one thing you know right away is that it’s going to be tough to dress this up." [Photography]

Not talking is not the same thing as not caring. [Advocacy]

I think many of us might be happy to wear one of those vests, if this is what it involves. [Celebrity]

There's no time like the present to get things out in the open. [Non-D Post]

Searching for kindred souls. [Type 1]

Twitter, and the people who "get it". [Type 2]

"And then I learned." [Type Awesome]

"I cried, gasped, and winced. But it was what I needed."[Type 1.5/LADA]

Mistakes happen, and sometimes they involve an ambulance. [Mistake]

"Never abandon yourself." [Motivational]


Congratulations to everyone who was nominated - you had some great company! 


Next month's Best of the 'Betes Blogs will be hosted by Sue from RFamHere's Ramblings, so be sure to check in with her for February's results!

If you'd like to embed the BBB logo on your blog, here's the script. (Just replace all [ ] characters with < >, and you'll be golden.)

[div align="center"][a href="http://www.bestofthebetesblogs.com" target="_blank"][img src="http://momentsofwonderful.files.wordpress.com/2011/06/bbblogo-final-e1309479808835.png"][/a][/div]


Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Dang It.

Ever think to yourself, "If only I could be asleep all of the time..."?


Diabetes gets really frustrating during those times that any little bit of any kind of food seems to send you to the moon. The last 24 hours have been one of those times.

On the bright side, at least my overnight basals seem to be tip-top. :)



Monday, January 30, 2012

Things I Imagine My Pancreas Might Be Doing With All Of Its Free Time.

Thinking up really bad jokes that are funny to no one but him.


Drinking Mai Tais while laughing at the organs actually doing their jobs.




Catching up on all of those books it has been meaning to read.





Friday, January 27, 2012

Little Steps.

Huzzah!
Thanks in part to all of the supportive comments and tweets I received on Monday, I'm feeling a little refreshed on this whole diabetes thing. I subbed a couple of salads for "other stuff I would have eaten" this week, Billy and I went for a long walk last night, and I've actually had some rather pretty CGM graphs - with the fingersticks to back them up.

There were many nights where, handful of (proper) pills in hand, I did what I am supposed to do. I thought of you guys.

And pump supplies? Ordered. Much more expensive than I expected them to be, but I have them in my clutches.

I'm feeling a little more confident; a little less tired.

I'm feeling ready to get back on the unicorn horse.

Thank you for that.

* * * * * 

In other news, I'll be hosting the first round of the freshly reorganized Best of the 'Betes Blogs awards this coming Wednesday, February 1st. 

What's new about this version, you ask? Here's an explanation, in Sara's words:

When George and I came up with the idea for the Best ‘Betes Blogs, the purpose was to bring attention to the great blogs posts from around the diabetes community. There are so many tremendous bloggers and well-written posts, with new bloggers joining us almost daily; it can be difficult to follow everything. By giving people the opportunity to nominate blogs, the hope is to connect everyone’s circles together and allow people to expand their network of support and encouragement.

Finding more people and expanding support networks? I can totally get behind that.

So here's what you can do, to help us get the ball rolling on this new format: 

Nominations are now open all month long. If you read a post that deserves a nomination, send an e-mail to mailto:bestbetesblogs@gmail.com?subject=BBB%20nomination with a link to the specific post and the category in which the post fits OR use twitter to direct message the Best of the ‘Betes Blogs Twitter account (@bestbetesblogs) with the same information.

NOMINATIONS ARE DUE SUNDAY BY MIDNIGHT!

Keep in mind that you don't have to nominate in ALL categories - if you want to just nominate one or two, that's totally fine.

And in case you are not familiar with the categories, here they are:

Best Use of Humor
Best Vlog
Best Recipe
Best Use of Photography
Best Advocacy
Best Reference to a D-Celebrity
Best Story of a D Meet-up
Best non-D Related Post
Best Post by a Type 1
Best Post by a Type 2
Best Post by a Type Awesome
Best Post by a LADA/ Type 1.5/ Not otherwise specified
Best story of a D-mistake
Best Motivational Post 
Best Diabetes Art

Happy voting, and I look forward to seeing the posts you all nominate!

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

That's My Dog!


Billy Corgin happens to be the featured dog on The Daily Corgi today. Go check it out... you know, if you're into that sort of thing.


There is a dog in there! Welcome to my house, dog! Let me sniff you.


Monday, January 23, 2012

I'm Not Great At This.

I rely on my CGM for insulin dosing decisions, and I wear those sensors until they sputter out. The ends of the adhesive get so frilly they start to resemble a tutu.

My A1C has risen each of the last 3 times it's been tested in the past year. Not dramatically, but steadily. It is not currently under 7%. I have mixed feelings about that.

I make food decisions that could stand to be improved. I order a cheeseburger when I should order a salad. With the exception of the past few days, I usually have a few diet sodas a day. (I've switched to coffee, iced tea and water for the time being.) I'm sitting here eating a spoonful of peanut butter with chocolate chips on it as I type this. Low carber, I am usually not.

I don't test as often as I used to, or as I "should". My testing frequency ebbs and flows, and right now, it's ebbing like a boss. I bribe myself with new (not originally intended to be) meter cases to get myself to test more often. (Sometimes, that works. Sometimes it doesn't.)



I reuse insulin pump tubing and cartridges. I fill cartridges from multiple insulin bottles and pens, because I don't want to waste the little bit that's left at the end.

 I don't log my numbers. At all.

There are nights where I don't take my thyroid meds and vitamins because I'm just too tired to mess with it. It literally would take me 30 seconds, but I don't do it. I can always remember my morning ones, but evening is a different story.

Exercise is... well, you can guess. I don't work out often - it's either that I don't have workout clothes clean (lame), or I'm already tired (hello, exercise and taking all of my meds would help this), or my blood sugar is already dropping (or too high, or planking, or or or...).

I often don't notice that I'm out of pump supplies until I try to do a set change, only to find that I've nothing left to change with. (This is where that "reusing" comes in.)

I learn the same lessons over and over... or, rather, I'm reminded of them. Sometimes I change my behavior, sometimes I do not. A lot of times I change, but it doesn't stick.

I don't have this all figured out. I don't have all of the answers. I'm not great at being "perfect" (whatever the heck THAT is).

I'm living with this the best way I can at any given moment.

Friday, January 20, 2012

Life's A Taco.


It's almost like this song was written for the diabetes online community... almost.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

MTV True Life: I Have Diabetes.

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Last night, MTV aired an episode of its series "True Life", called "True Life: I Have Diabetes". It shared stories of three people with diabetes - Kristyn, a 25 year-old with type 1 and an insulin pump that badly needed replacing; Matt, a college student with type 1 trying to find the balance between "college life" and "life with diabetes"; and Jen, a pregnant 19 year-old who we are told was diagnosed with type 2 four months prior (it is clarified at the end of the episode that she now has a diagnosis of type 1) and struggles with the changes in lifestyle that she was told to make.

I went into this episode thinking that I'd come out the other side feeling riled up and angry. I assumed, like so much else of popular media's "coverage", that people with diabetes would be portrayed as having done something wrong; as having brought their condition on themselves; as people who can't make good, healthy choices for themselves.

I was pleasantly mistaken in most cases. While MTV's portrayal of life with diabetes wasn't without its flaws, I actually thought it was... good. (And I did DVR it, so I'll need to go back and rewatch... but these are my initial thoughts.)

We saw rational people dealing with the same real-life diabetes crap that we all know. We saw young adults grappling with the expenses - of money, time and brain space - of this disease. We heard a doctor being realistic instead of derogatory with his young patient who consumes alcohol, and who provided some advice and guidance for partaking in those activities. We saw these people with diabetes surrounded by friends who cared enough to ask questions, know what to do if and when their help was needed, and watched out for their friends with compromised pancrei.

Then again, we also heard nurses reminding Jen (the pregnant one) multiple times that her baby could die if her blood sugars were "too high". You know, "because of the diabetes". (And yes - they really called it "the diabetes".) We saw parents with what I felt to be extremely high (read: unattainable/unrealistic) expectations for their child's health goals. We also heard soundbites that were probably taken out of context.

The overwhelming, heartstring-pulling, need-to-do-something-about-this feeling I was left with was this:

You are not alone.

As I heard these people talk, I heard echoes of my own past ways of thinking in their words. I remember thinking that it was one of two options: live a "normal college life", or take care of diabetes. So many of us who went through college with type 1 felt that way. Like Matt, we were the only people in our circle of friends who had diabetes. We knew we needed to take care of ourselves, but we also wanted to just have fun and LIVE.

I also felt for Jen, who apparently was misdiagnosed with type 2 before being correctly diagnosed with type 1. I know a few people to whom that has happened, as well. Being diagnosed as an adult by a doctor who isn't looking for the right things can do that.

And struggling to find ways to pay for medical supplies? Yep, those of us are out here, too.

I don't think I'm the only one who hopes that MTV sees some of our tweets from last night, and somehow finds a way to connect Kristyn, Matt and Jen with the diabetes online community. Not because we have all the answers for them... but because we know. We know what this life is like, because we live it too. We talk to each other and support each other and make a difference in each other's lives by what we say and do.

There is help that is needed. There are lives to be changed; people to be supported.

There is work to be done.


UPDATE: Kristyn found me on Twitter, after finding this blog post. In related news, the internet is amazing. Find her @followkristyn!