Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Sometimes, I Forget.

Towards the end of my workday yesterday, I noticed that my “emergency stash” was depleted. Even though I almost always have something like glucose tabs or fruit strips in my purse to treat lows with, I like to keep some back-up candy in my desk drawer. It’s there for times when I’ve run out of the aforementioned options, or for the times when candy sounds a lot tastier than fruit-flavored chalk. (Which, surprise!, it always does.)

I ran across the street to the drug store and spent a little while pondering my hypoglycemia-resolving choices. (Starbursts are a favorite, because 4 ‘bursts will bring me back up to normal without overdoing it. Also, I’m a fan of the fact that I get to have one of each flavor. The symmetry makes me happy.) As I started backing away from the candy, fists full of Rainbow Taste, something odd happened.

Apparently, an older gentleman had been watching what I was doing. As I caught his stare (because, indeed, he was staring), he broke into a sly grin. His hands then performed the “tsk tsk” action, and he walked away.

My first reaction was shock.  I wanted to yell at him. Or maybe throw some candy. I did neither – I think I just gave him an incredulous look.

What I realized over the next few seconds was that I was taking his reaction out of context. There was no way he could have known, in that moment, that I had diabetes. My insulin pump was concealed, as was my CGM. I wasn’t wearing medical ID, nor was I in the middle of checking my blood sugar. To him, I just looked like a lady who really loves her candy, and he apparently thought I was “pigging out”. Of course, my diabetes-centric mind had immediately jumped to defense mode and I had initially assumed he was trying his best as a D-Policeman to rain on my sugar festival.

Diabetes is something that I’m always thinking about, but I have to remember that it doesn’t mean diabetes is always on everyone else’s mind. Sometimes, I forget.


  1. Kim -
    It's not worth it. People like that have no place in your life and are ignorant. Also, I love it when I can treat my low with squares of deliciousness. The pink ones are my fav.

  2. I still would have gotten pissed, even if I wasn't diabetic. Sure, he was just joking with you, but who is he to judge your eating habits?

    (Not to get you all riled up all over again . . .)

  3. First off, I'm a fan of the Starburst, too. It's actually not my "favorite," but they have three things going for them:

    1. As you said, 4 of them is perfect.
    2. I enjoy them when I eat them.
    3. I never CRAVE them, so I'm not going to be tempted by that delicious bag of candy sitting in my drawer when my BG isn't low.

    Second, I'm always having to remind myself that my context for so many things in life just aren't the same context that others have. Not only diabetes, but also things that are insignificant or friendly to others while they bug the heck out of me... and there's a lot of them, because I have a KOT of small issues I deal with. Like today, I blew my nose and a coworker came over and joked, "I like to tell people that they wouldn't have to do blow their nose so much if they werent' such a snot!" At this point, I had to restrain myself from snapping... because she has no clue that I'm INCREDIBLY self-consious about blowing my nose. Also, I realllllllly hate to hear, "You look tired." To me, that translates into, "You look like crap, and I'm guessing it's because you're tired." (Of course, it doesn't bug me if I'm like, yawning or resting my head or something. That ACTUALLY "looks tired.") Oh, and people other than my husband or parents calling me by terms of endearment just seems patronizing. Especially when it comes with advice.

    Yeah. A million little diaglogs every day about how others don't actually mean what my brain actually hears.


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