Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Just The Spectator.

Sometimes, we have moments that feel like Diabetes is talking right to us.  In these moments, it doesn't feel like we're the ones with our hands on the steering wheel - instead, it's Diabetes, and he's self-centered, mean, and untimely.  And, sometimes - he's just downright cruel.  It doesn't happen often, but even the most optimistic diabetic knows The Voice:

No, actually, you really can't do everything everyone else can.  Not all the time.  You see, I'm the one in charge here.  I'm the one who decides if you're getting a full night's sleep.  I'm the one who decides what you're eating (or not eating) today.  Want to exercise?  Not unless I give you the signal...  you could try anyway, but you'll only make things worse.  I call the shots.  I come first.  You have to make your plans around me. 

You have to give me the attention I require, or I'll throw a tantrum.  I'll give you a headache, take away all of your energy and patience, make you break out in a cold sweat, and embarrass you by hijacking your motor skills.  I'll make your hands shake so badly that others notice.  I'll drain the color out of your face, and numb your tastebuds.  I can do all of this with no warning, too.  I hold the power here, not you.  You're just the spectator!

If you don't plan ahead, I'll lash out.  And, sometimes, I'll lash out even when you think you've planned for every possible scenario.  Even when you've paid careful and diligent attention to me all day long.  Even when it doesn't make any sense for me to misbehave.  Even when you were just fine half an hour ago.

I'll wiggle my way into every decision you make.  You will eat, sleep, and breathe me.  And, even when you do, I can still betray you.  After all, you're just the spectator.

3 comments:

  1. Couldn't have been said better!

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  2. The Voice. Yep, I've heard the voice before. Good thing we're stubborn and put up a fight.

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  3. I totally love this post. well written and definitely the voice in all of us.

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