Thursday, February 2, 2012

Hitting "Refresh" On Normal.

A new diagnosis, new medications, new ways of preparing food. New amounts to eat or not eat. New rules, new goals, new fears.

A new Normal.

Food = fingersticks. Injections or pump sites. Counting the carbohydrates in every single thing you ingest, then worrying about how accurate that count really was.
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A new Normal.

That big stupid black meter case following you around everywhere. A jar of glucose tabs in the bottom of your purse. Back-up infusion sites. Do I have enough test strips to get through today? Do I have enough pen needles? Do I have enough energy?

A new Normal.

Yosemite Sam highs. (As in, "#!*%#$@!" escapes my mouth when I see the number on the meter.) Lows that shake you to your core; no symptoms, just post-realization panic. Sites that don't absorb anymore; pump sites that clog up; injections that leak back out. Spots of blood on everything you own. Blunt lancets.

A new Normal.

"Why didn't it click when I downed three glasses of water in a row?" "How could I have misjudged the carbs so badly?" "How do they pack so many hidden carbs in sushi?" "Why do I keep thinking I can eat breakfast cereal?"

Normal is a spectrum, and we are champion chameleons.

13 comments:

  1. "Normal is a spectrum, and we are champion chameleons." - I love that!

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  2. i love the last line! great quote!

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  3. beautiful. normal is a completely relative term. love how you expressed it.

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  4. this may be one of my all-time favorite posts.

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  5. perfect!
    And I so SO agree with the hidden carbs in sushi comment! not cool sushi makers, not cool! (oh so yummy, but not cool!)

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  6. Great post, Kim. Very articulate and insightful, and like others I love how you ended it. Thanks for this.

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  7. A "NEW" normal? Diabetes has been my normal for over 30 years! Although back then, I didn't count carbohydrates, I counted exchanges. I used old-fashioned syringes, not pens or infusion sets. The sharpest of 1980s lancets still hurt more than the blüntest of 2010s lancets. So yes, I guess this is the "NEW" normal. And I like it better than the old one.

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  8. My favorite line: That big stupid black meter case following you around everywhere.
    I had just been thinking about that as I was reading this, this morning.
    And then I was glad that I don't eat sushi - ice cream is more me...

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  9. Hey Kim - Seconds before I read this, I had just said to my husband, "I wish I could eat cereal, remember when I thought I could?" Then I read your post. It's beautiful and then I was laughing so hard at, "Why do I keep thinking I can eat breakfast cereal?" Thanks again for your authenticity!

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  10. Have you ever read the book "Everyone's Normal Until You Get To Know Them"? The author looks normal on the front cover but on the back you can see that he has an "as-is" tag sticking out of the back of his shirt.

    I'd definitely be found in the as-is bin. No exchanges. No returns.

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  11. normal is a spectrum! that would be a great title for a d blog! love this! :)

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