Tuesday, May 10, 2011

A Letter To Myself.

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Today's prompt: In February the Wego Blog Carnival asked participants to write letters to their condition. You can write a letter to diabetes if you’d like, but we can also take it one step further. How about writing a letter to a fictional (or not so fictional) endocrinologist telling the doctor what you love (or not) about them. How about a letter to a pretend (or again, not so pretend) meter or pump company telling them of the device of your dreams? Maybe you’d like to write a letter to your child with diabetes. Or a letter from your adult self to the d-child you were. Whomever you choose as a recipient, today is the day to tell them what you are feeling.

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Dear Little Kim (not to be confused with Lil' Kim, who has no part in this),

I want to tell you that you can do this.

There are so many parts of life that don't make a lot of sense to you yet. So many unknowns. So many questions that seem unanswerable. So many things that don't quite seem fair. And you probably don't yet know what I mean by "this" - but you will soon.

I can't tell you many specifics about the years ahead, as I'm pretty sure that will somehow unravel the very fabric of the space-time continuum, and destroy the entire universe - but I can tell you that no matter how convinced you become that life has it out for you; that the weight of this disease and all that seems to come with it feels so crushing; that the immense pressures in what lies ahead seem more than you can bear - I want you to remember what I'm saying here. I want you to come back to it when it starts to resonate.

I want you to know that you can do this.

You're going to have a lot of happiness in your life, but I need to be real about this when I say: you're going to have to go through a lot of crap to get there. Buckle up.

You will do things you'll later regret - and that's okay. You won't take care of yourself sometimes. You'll get yourself so worked up about what having diabetes might mean for your future that you'll cry yourself to sleep some nights. And that's okay, too. You'll pull through that. And you may be surprised to find out that you aren't the only one who feels that way.

I want you to know you can do this.

And while there will be dark periods in your life, you must believe me when I tell you that there will be plenty of light. Even with all of the diabetes crap - it will be a great life. You will know what fulfillment, pride, and unconditional love feel like. You'll get to travel; you'll be able to use your art for a greater good; you'll push your body to physical limits you can't imagine now; you'll find more friends along the way than you ever thought you would.

You'll do all of that with diabetes - and you'll help others do the same.

Please don't let the worse case scenario allow you to be afraid of what's to come, or how things will turn out - because it's going to be awesome. The odds won't always be against you; the numbers aren't indicative of your worth as a person; and doctors aren't always right. Dream big and don't be afraid to try to make those dreams a Real Life Thing That's Actually Happening.

You can do this. TOTALLY.

Hugs,

Kim

P.S. I know you think it's a good idea to sell those Barbie dolls at a garage sale, but hang onto those. Trust me on this.

21 comments:

  1. Aw - so very encouraging. Thank you.

    And double Aw on those Barbies. My mom split all our Barbies bt my two older sisters bc she insisted I never had any. So not true. :( lol

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  2. It's Like You were talking to Child Ryanne with Diabetes! Thanks :)

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  3. Great letter to Lil Kim, you who shall now be known as More Wise And Cupcake-Craving Kim Who Is Exposed To Unicorn Awesomeness! Love the advice to the younger version of yourself, and the message that it'll be OK.

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  4. You are not just doing this, you are rocking this. Great letter.

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  5. I thought the letters to our D kids were hard to read, but between you and Kerri, I am a MESS!!!!

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  6. "the numbers aren't indicative of your worth as a person; and doctors aren't always right. Dream big and don't be afraid to try to make those dreams a Real Life Thing That's Actually Happening"

    these are truly words to live by! words i hope my son will be uttering when he is older. you are inspiring Kim!

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  7. Tears.

    Didn't expect these tears to be so abundant today.

    Guess I was wrong.

    Beautiful.

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  8. The "Lil Kim" got me chuckling. And...the barbies. Too bad I gave them all haircuts!

    Beautiful note and I think these will be helpful in the future for some of the younger type 1's...I plan on reading them to Joe when things get tough...these will help the next generation of type 1ers know that things WILL BE OK...and it is OK to have rough patches...

    Thank You.

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  9. Gorgeous, K. You know I'm teary-eyed, having had so many of the same thoughts and fears when I was little Sarah. Thanks for putting this out there. *And, the Barbies would have had to all be in their boxes, never played with--no fun! Could you have done that? I still have a few of mine, and they are a serious mess. But they had a good time. >;)

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  10. Lil Kim & Lil Kel could have gotten in some major trouble together!!
    Love your letter & what it represents. I wrote D letter to my lil self a few years ago it's so amazing how much time teaches us!!

    And it's quite amazing what your letter teaches us !

    PS: I say we really work on unraveing the space-time continuum, lord knows how much money we'd have had we held on to our little childhood toys!
    Kelly K

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  11. Awesome! Geez im a blubbering mess today. Its clear how amazing little kim grows up to be.

    Thank you for sharing this Kim!

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  12. Fantastic letter! As a D mama, it's so encouraging to read letters like this.

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  13. Great letter, it is beautifully written

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  14. Man, if we could only go back in time! This is a beautiful letter and I'm sure it would have been SOOO nice (if time travel were possible)

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  15. This is adorable and inspiring. I wish I didn't sell my Barbies too :( I wish I had this letter when I was first diagnosed. I think I would have felt a lot better. Thank you!

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  16. Great letter....I still have an original Barbie and Ken, but they are sitting across the ocean waiting for me to visit.

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  17. Very similar thoughts indeed. Too bad this wasn't a real possibility. :)

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  18. I wish the letters today - to the younger selves - could be shared with d-teens now. Awesome writing, Kim!

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  19. You can, and you are. What better words of encouragment are there? YOU CAN DO IT! I should make it a plaque and put it in all the boys rooms! And maybe mine too. :)

    Thank you for this letter Kim!

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  20. I looked forward to reading your letter all day and it did not disappoint!It made me weepy, but in a good way, especially since the space-time continuum was involved.You are awesome-

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  21. Beautiful post, Kim. I'm proud to be sharing that brain with you. :) xo

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