Sunday, October 24, 2010

Babies Are Taking Over My Brain.

Ever since A and I started talking seriously about planning a family, babies seem to be materializing everywhere.  It's as if the infants of the world have some sort of centralized database and GPS system on me, and they're planning a strike.  Everywhere I look, there is a baby in a stroller or sling of some sort.  There are baby clothes.  And baby shoes.  And baby socks.  And baby Husker apparel.  And the huge baby section in Target.  And the baby section I have to walk through at the grocery store to get to the organic section.  And then the baby section I have to walk through to get to the freakin' restroom at Kohl's.  They're taunting me.

A and I went to Omaha for the morning, and even at my favorite breakfast spot, I could not find solace.  It only makes sense that we would be seated in between two tables with...  well, you can guess.  One of the suspects kept turning around to look at A.  And, because that is what he does, A kept making goofy faces, which would cause the kid to giggle and turn back to her table.  She'd playfully turn around again, and this cycle of events would repeat and repeat.

It's cute... it is.  And while I'm very excited for what the future may hold for us, I've admittedly been trying to squeeze in the largest amount of non-pregnant behavior I can lately.  We're exhausting the wine supply, I'm eating as many ceasar salads as possible, and I made sure to choose a breakfast dish this morning that included hollandaise sauce.  I'm also enjoying what could be my last few cold turkey sandwiches for a while. 

And while I'm doing all of that, I'm taking pre-natal vitamins and folic acid (holy cow, those pills are HUGE).  I'm getting more of the regular exercise that I should have been doing all along.  And, I'm finally getting that closet cleaned out in the office/future kid room.

Every time I talk about babies, or share the things that I'm doing to prepare for one, a small part of me wonders if I'm jinxing something.  I sometimes feel that I shouldn't be talking about it, until I have some "it" to talk about - but, here I am, talking about it anyway. 

Part of it is being newly married, I think.  Part of it is being 31, and knowing that if I want to do this in the recommended "safe" time, I've only got 3 1/2 years to go.  (I know that they are numbers, and they won't apply to everyone, but I feel that I've already tempted Fate enough in my life so far.)  Part of it is being the only one of my cousins who doesn't have children - on both sides of my family.  Apparently, I am susceptible to peer pressure.

But more than any of those things, it's something I very much want.  I know A and I will be good parents, and we feel comfortable that now-ish could be the best timing.  It will always seem a little scary, because that's how life-changing experiences are.  It may never seem like the "perfect" time, but...

"If you wait for the perfect moment when all is safe and assured, it may never arrive. Mountains will not be climbed, races won, or lasting happiness achieved."  - Maurice Chevalier

10 comments:

  1. I'm waiting anxiously for the trip to my endo during which she tells me "go for it" on the babies. I see her tomorrow, and I'm terribly disappointed that my blood sugars have been all over the place this week... because she emphasizes steady BGs more than a specific A1C.

    And the babies converge on us, too... we'd been trying before this diagnosis and are waiting to try again, and it's like the babies are TAUNTING me! :(

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  2. I feel the same way about puppies. :o)

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  3. I hope you have a little Stewie of your own soon.

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  4. Haha. It sounds almost like buying a new car. As soon as you get it, you notice the same kind of car EVERYWHERE on the roads where you never did before. The mind notices funny things sometimes I guess.

    And Joslin is coming out with a new diabetes pregnancy book in the next few weeks. I'll be sure to send you a link once it is public. I've only had the chance to check out an early draft at this point, but it looks great so far.

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  5. Elizabeth - best of luck with your appointment!

    Jamie - Thanks; I'll look forward to hearing more about it. :)

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  6. I don't talk about *it* either, for fear of jinxing it. And after a friend of mine tried to HOLD IN her baby so that it wouldn't be born on April 1 (and it was), I realized that there are some things you can't control.

    So yeah, after I'm off the toxic meds, I'm just going to let it happen. If it does.

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  7. I'm glad I'm not the only one being consumed by the baby bug. My December blood work will be my benchmark but I know my A1c isn't ready yet, dangit! Hopefully sometime soon - for all of us. :)

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  8. Baby Fever!! I hear ya! Once you have "baby" on your mind - its EVERYWHERE! But fun and exciting for you!

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  9. I think that we (as T1 women) are totally allowed to talk about it. I mean, we have to spend months preparing ourselves just to go off of the pill and then we have to wait to get pregnant! How can anyone keep their mouth shut for that long, especially when it's so central to our daily existence. Don't keep it in girl!

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  10. Like Jamie said, whether it's cars, babies, new whatever as soon as you "buy" one they are all over the place. Good wishes on your decision and next year at this time will be looking forward for either a due date or a brand new addition to the family.

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